I ask a lot of people what romance is: to themselves, personally. What do they do that is romantic and why.

Well somebody actually asked me the same thing: “Jim, what do YOU think romance is?” Well, I had to think a few moments, and here it is:

Romance, I’m sure, is the path and destination, the life long pursuit of life’s peak experiences. The destination is togetherness, the path is a mountain of salt that we may eat together. Romance is watching your eyes as you look at shoes on the rack or stars or concerts and noticing what makes your face light up in pleasure: and bringing that look back into your eyes by future words, deeds and thoughts.

Romance is making you always feel safe and protected no matter how crazy the adventure gets; That we can always survive and thrive. Romance is allowing you to be an eternal little child, adolescent, seductress, mommie, slut, matron and crone at your whim, and reveling in the kaleidoscope of your personality. Romance is the confidence to let you grow in whatever ways you need, with whatever resources you choose, and knowing that you will be a better partner for all that.

That, my reader, you flower of thorns, is romance for me, pernonally. I learned it from Joan Armatrading’s ‘Willow.’ — go out and buy her tunes!

It is a tough road to travel. Don’t expect to do it without some serious growth on your part.