Recently on Oprah Winfrey’s wonderful show, Gary Zukav held court. He has delved deep into the metaphysics of our plane of existence. He has written about his awakenings: The Dancing Wu-Li Masters, The Seat of the Soul and others. Actually pretty profound stuff, but not really any more or less than the sages throughout the centuries have already been aware of. But it is always good to hear it again, from fresh lips, in fresh words so that it may have a resonant meaning in our lives.
Trouble is, Gary has overstepped the limits of his view of the universe and tried to come down from the mountain to enter the village.

You see, in the the segment on Oprah, he held court as a source of wisdom for marriage and relationships. And so, there was a couple appearing on the show. The couple had all the normal stresses of modern life. Kids, work, anger, issues. All the regular stuff.
The young woman said that she wants her husband to look on her as his perfect mate. She said it in the most exact way possible. This is the essence of romance to many women. If you ever hear a woman describe something a man does as romantic, that’s because the thing the man is doing is evidence that the woman is in fact his perfect mate.
But on the show, Mr. Zukav went straight for the jugular and administered a verbal spanking, saying that only ‘love’ was the goal and that she needed to look elsewhere than romance. Gary just dissed romance as an impossible, childish, concept.
It’s true some folks do want instant success with romance. But it is badly treated in our culture. It is treated like candy and fluff and sex. But there is nothing wrong with candy or fluff or sex, but these are NOT romance. Romance is not a sprint to the finish and you win. If it were, what would you do after the finish? It’s like you win a ten million dollar lottery. If you get it easily, you won’t know how to keep it, let alone build for a secure future with it. There is no real way to win with the instant gratification mind-set.
But that is not what Gary has said: His idea is that romance is just a mirage. A waste of time. The real goal is ‘love’ and ’spiritual partnership’ and you can not get there from romance. In fact, you can’t get anywhere with romance. According to Mr. Zukav.
That’s pure hogwash. Romance, is actually central to the unfettered human nature. But first we have to come up with a real definition of ‘romance.’ We need that because we all have slightly different ideas about what romance is all about — especially in our american, make-a-buck, make-a-sale culture. Here it is: Romance is the pursuit of life’s peak experiences. It’s more like our constitutional concept of ‘pursuit of happiness’ than the concept of winning the lottery.
So, the guru tells us that ‘enlightenment’ is the peak experience? If so, ask these questions. Are you passionate about it? Are your values aligned to that end? Have you tuned your communication to getting enlightened? Are you willing and able to discern what you need to do and follow through with it? And finally, are you dedicated to it, come what may?
Now that doesn’t sound so impossible does it. Not like a mirage anymore. In fact, when you go through the hard internal soul work of getting your communication, values and right action in place, then the whole thing starts to make sense.
All except for the fact that ‘enlightenment’ is a pretty vague concept, that shifts from guru to guru. And ‘love,’ even ’spirutual partnership’ has got a new meaning depending on who we talk to. But if you can really understand your peak experience as meaningful to you, something that you know deep in your heart as achievable then it becomes real. And if you call it ’spiritual partnership’, ‘enlightenment’, ’soul mate’ or ‘real estate empire’ it’s all romance. And very romantic!
And it becomes doable — maybe not a slam-dunk — but a worthy objective. Look at the true successes of the world: They all have had a pathway that exactly fits the description of romance. At least romance for them. I’m sure Donald Trump’s idea of a real estate empire works for him, not for everybody. But that’s OK. There is a romance for each of us, and it’s not the same from person to person.
Dear reader, go check out Mr. Zukav’s ideas on spiritual partnership. Some might call it the search for a soul mate or by other names. Check it out, it may resonate with you. But the path that you take to it is 100% romance.
So stop bad-mouthing romance, Gary. You may have a good idea or two, and I’m glad that you have found a friend in Oprah. But be careful what you say — someone might believe you, lose the possible dream, and that would be just sad.