That one special person. We hear lots and read lots and it soon starts to come out of our ears! Too much. It’s like never ending emotional pablum.
But it is possible, and it is special, and it does take lots of work.
Lots and lots of work. And if you don’t know exactly what work you need to do, you can and will get totally sidetracked by your mother, doctor, religious leader, life coach or guru. And still have no clue about how this soul mate thing works.
So listen to this: the soul mate journey has five key factors. Each has to be in place and in place permanently. They are:
- Passion. You gotta want it. And want it good. It has to be so compelling to give you the energy to overcome the rocks in the road to your goal.
- Communication. Can you talk about everything that needs to be talked about? And make sure that you hear what your partner is meaning? And vice-versa?
- Compatible Values. Those important values. You must find out which of your values are more important than your quest for your soul mate. There should be very few, and they must be 100% compatible with your partners. If a value conflict does come up, you must be able to get them matched up, ASAP!
- Right Action. After you and your partner have communicated, and after you have followed both your values, you can discern what is the right thing to do. And then you do it. Without fear or hesitation.
- And make your Vow. Only when your partner sees that you can do the first four steps, will your partner be able to accept your vow to the future. A vow is a one-sided contract: you can’t take it to the judge and say “boo-hoo-hoo, she done me wrong” You gotta be able to do it. And it must be in 100% agreement with both your values.
And when you get done with that, start from step the communication step again!
There are some who think that the idea of a soul-mate is some kind of narcissism, a child’s yearning rather than an adult’s thinking. But they have no idea of what the work is, only that they don’t know what or how to do the work. And it’s too true that there are so few examples of these types of relationships for people to see and learn from in today’s world.
But take heart. Learn from those very few examples like the incredible story of Buckminster Fuller’s romance. And check out the wisdom of celarien, which means “emotional ecology:” using your emotions for the benefit of yourself and those you love. You might even find that the person you never thought could be your soul mate really is, if only you do the soul work.
© 2006, James A. Hinds
